My name is Ben, aged 33 years. I stay in Makindye. Stoplight has changed my life which has helped my family. I was not a good dad to my children or good husband to my wife. I was harsh and rude. I have two children and my wife left me after a misunderstanding. I used to take myself as a decision maker, boss, perfect, head of the family and good dad who does not make mistakes and a good caner of my wife and children. I thought beating (spanking) was the way to manage, control, care, love, value and discipline my family. When they had poor performance or make mistakes I believe they are not listening to me. I had to beat them while they were young for good manners, to improve performance and keep them from repeating classes. When they get big I do not have control and they make their own decisions. I felt rejected, lonely, unloved, unvalued, a problem and there was no peace at home. With my wife gone and my children unhappy because of the way I behave, Charity, my friend and neighbour, brought good news for me about Stoplight. Stoplight helped me to realize that I was a bad father to my family and I do not show empathy, love, care, and value. My wife ran away from me because I mistreated her and she was scared of me and did not trust me. The pressure for my kids to perform made them perform poorly and repeat classes. They were not safe with me at home or at school. With Stoplight I can change my attitude toward my family and can be a Green dad.
I know how to handle and talk to my family, problem solve and controlling my anger. I discipline kindly and there is more attachment. I am now friends with my children who used to fear me and they smile when they see me. The teachers told me that my children improved in school and I noticed their marks are higher than before. My children were not stupid, they were stressed and uncared for by me. Now they are able to listen and understand for they now can trust me. My wife came back for the connection, care, and good talk in the family. I am a Stoplight dad and my children are in KAT project* with Stoplight now. We are God fearing, happy, caring, peaceful, loving and safe family. Beating, heavy punishment and yelling at a child spoils and destroys a child’s brain. What you sow is what you reap so I am ready to change. I have to spread about Stoplight to my Boda Boda mates (motorcycle taxi drivers) because it has worked for me. They are like I was before and I know that they can change too. I have to be an example. Thank you Stoplight in KAT program. We love it.
*The KAT project is a community-based organization that is run for children in the slums of Kampala, by a local Ugandan Stoplight trainer.